Talking Sticks

I was cornered at a party the other night. Someone I barely knew talked at me for an hour, stopping only to draw breath. Am I being unfair in my desire for inclusive conversation? Or should I simply stand there and be chattered at? I tried on many occasions to chip in a contribution. I mentioned the organic potatoes he was eating. This prompted a lengthy treatise on all the vegetables the chap had cultivated complete with ripening methods, growing conditions and flavour rating. At my mention of a town in Europe, I was treated to a relentless monologue on his travels around the world with expansive details about hotels, transport failures and why Crete is the best place to retire to.

Don’t get me wrong. I love hearing about other people’s lives. But I prefer a two, three or four way conversation.  Is there a talk gene buried in their DNA? Or is it a nervous affliction? Whatever the cause, incessant talkers can wreak havoc on a project.

Many in IT project land get very excited about their solutions (and so they should!). But their desire to talk at length can drive many a Project Manager to the brink of insanity. How does a Project Manager combat those afflicted with the talking gene and still deliver the project with her mind intact?

Discipline in meetings is the answer. The Best Project Managers control their team meetings with great skill.  And some secret weapons. They have a timed agenda, a kitchen timer and - a lump of decorated wood, lovingly known as THE TALKING STICK.

Attendees soon understand the rules. Talkers get one minute then they pass on the Stick. Agendas run to time, everyone gets to speak and the talkers learn to marshal their thoughts into one-minute sound bites. Talking Sticks take many forms. A totem pole, a boomerang or simply a twig snapped from a tree all serve as a one-minute microphone. And when the speaker has finished her minute, the next recipient of the stick has to describe what has been said before he puts forth his point. Two way communication, short messages and active listening all serve to create value from meetings and produce the agenda’d outcomes.

I now have a very large talking stick in my handbag ready for the Christmas party!

Is there such a thing as the Talk Gene? Has the Talking Stick worked for you? I would love to read your comments.